


felt wrong

by Maliam (orphan_account)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 04:22:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3922714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Maliam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They never noticed how complete she made them until she was gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	felt wrong

“I found him.” Steve whispered to her, his lips pressed against her hand. Tears fell from his face, staining the bed sheets they fell upon. It felt like he was bringing his family back together, bringing them where they belong. She looked at him, knowing already who he was talking about, and her face matched his. She cried like she talked, softly and with purpose. “He’s coming home, darling, he’s coming back to us.”

In between hunts for Bucky and missions, Steve would find himself in the nursing home, holding her hand and listening to her talk about what she did after Steve and Bucky left. She told him about Howard and Maria, Jarvis and Anna, Angie and Daniel. She told him about the people she met and the people she cared about but never did she talk about the people she loved because Steve and Bucky could never be replaced. More often than not, Steve found himself wondering what Bucky was doing whenever he was on a mission. It was pathetic in that depressing way and Natasha was beginning to notice every time he got distracted in his thoughts. It was beginning to affect the missions he went on so Natasha sent him home, told him to take a week or two off until he had his head on straight.

Bucky showed up at his door two days later, beaten and bloody, with no where else to go. It took Steve all of two days to bring him to her and when she saw Bucky, slightly bruised but mostly healed, she cried. She hit him hard in the arm, snipping angrily that he had her worried and Bucky cried too. Steve joined them no more than two seconds later. That night, his hand in hers, arm stretched to Bucky’s, was the first time he fell asleep for ages.

But they couldn’t stay there forever. The nursing home didn’t even allow Captain America to stay long after visiting hours. Steve tried to figure out a way to move her out of the nursing home, but with Steve away for missions more often than not and Bucky crippled with PTSD, there was no way she would be taken care of properly.

It almost felt wrong.

At night, when Bucky and Steve laid awake together it felt wrong that they were in each others arms. It felt wrong that there was no delicate, strong, body between them. Sometimes, they would put a pillow between them, wrapping themselves around it and into each other. A poor substitute, they knew, but they couldn’t sleep otherwise.

“She married, you know.” Steve whispered one night, unable to sleep but desperately wishing he could. Bucky didn’t even flinch, knowing full well that she did. It was months until Bucky showed up at Steve’s doorstep, Bucky probably knew everything that had happened since he was taken by Hydra. Bucky hummed, his lips against Steve’s shoulder. Steve almost wanted to say he could feel Bucky’s sadness seep from his fingertips. “Had a girl too. Name was Angie. Can you believe that?” Steve asked.

Bucky chuckled quietly. “I can believe that she probably had the entire city at her beck and call.”

It didn’t get easier to sleep.

They held each other at night as best as they could. Sometimes they would drift off but never for long, always being woken up. Either by nightmares or the fact that they didn’t feel right together, like a puzzle missing a piece

They didn’t stop trying.

The second saturday of every month, they would visit her. Everybody in the Avengers knew that, and nobody ever tried to force them into a mission on that day. Whether it was early in the morning or late at night, they would make it there, rain or shine. The second they walked into her room, she would smile like she had won the lottery, crying because her boys were back.

They teased her about going on and growing up without them and she’d laugh back, saying that they would have never grown up anyways. Bucky would sit on her left, Steve on her right, and they would hold her hands. There were times where they talked for hours on end, sharing the stories they had while the others were away. Other times, they would only sit and breath together, relief seeping from their bones. When the visiting hours would get late, Steve and Bucky would lay their heads onto the bed, sleeping again.

It never felt wrong when they were together.

When she let out her final breath, Steve and Bucky are right beside her, tears falling from their faces. Bucky picked up the nearest chair and threw it through the window. Tony paid repair of the window. And the door Steve broke. The Avengers, new and old, watched as their best friends were crippled with grief, unable to do anything. Steve felt useless to himself and to Bucky, only going through the motions of life with Bucky, feeling like they already died.

Wanda slapped both of them across the face. Told them they needed to live on without her, live on for her, otherwise she died loving cowards. She spoke from experience.

It snapped both of them out of their daze, realizing the reality of what Wanda spoke of. She wouldn’t want Bucky and Steve to only be half alive, she would want them to live to the fullest and help every single person they possibly could. So they made themselves better.

It still hurt, especially at night, but the pain was dulled with each person they helped. They fought for the good of mankind, just like she did while they were dead to her. They made the avengers better, recruited people and helped mutants. They met different heros, learned from each others mistakes, and made the world better.

It felt wrong but they lived on anyways. They lived for her… for Peggy.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yell at me on [tumblr](http://maliam.tumblr.com/ask)


End file.
